Ship of fools, bus of idiots

The eagle has landed

Charm city

We bid a fond adieu to the queen city. two more stops at bwi and addison road (i think) before our destination, the nation's capital and many tasty beverages with lots of good friends. Holla!

Aberdeen not worthy

Bkdm: "see anything blog worthy?"
Bosox: "in aberdeen murylind? Decidedly not."

Farewell Gotham

Put more coal in the fire and get us to dc! 3 hours to go...

New haven passes with a beer

And we're off

Everything that could have gone wrong did. You can't park here. This subway car isn't going there today. The taxi driver got lost. Oh no where is my ID? Though the fates have conspired against us we are on our way to dc fueled with sparkling water and bagels. And I brought the goldschlager.

Ps is this picture sideways?

DC, Here We Come!

OK, so I'm doing laundry and packing.
I have my phone for mobile blogging.






I have my camera for taking pictures of chimneys, be they leaning, falling or being swept up.







And I have a flask of delicious Maker's Mark for the train ride.
It's going to be a fabulous trip!
See you soon DC peeps!

Sticking With the Home Team

During our weekly Saturday trek to the Harpoon brewery this past weekend to fill up our growlers, I noticed something amiss in our beloved brewhall.

Amidst the array of taps sporting various manners of delicious beer, an ugly "B" - for Brooklyn Lager - jutted forward like so many sneering New Yorkers.

That's right, Harpoon made a bet on the super bowl with the Brooklyn Brewery. The stakes: If New England won, the Brooklyn Brewery would have to serve a keg of Harpoon IPA on tap, but if the Giants won, Harpoon would serve a keg of Brooklyn Lager.

There is no need to revisit the painful outcome, but I can take some small solace in the fact that someone in my beloved hometown state of Colorado is drinking delicious Harpoon beer at an (as yet) unnamed brewery in a similar bet involving the Red Sox. (Siobhan's note: pitchers and catchers report on Thursday!)

I consider this a bet made by Harpoon on behalf of all their loyal beer drinkers, and, like Harpoon, I honor my bets. That's why, this week, I drank a Brooklyn Lager. Which, by the way, I would have to say, all in all, is not bad.

Medford Driving Akin to Brownian Motion

Brownian motion: "the random movement of particles..."











I submit to you, dear readers, two photos: one of nuclear fusion in the sun and the other, an overhead view of the Kappy's intersection in Medford where route 28 meets... well, everything else. Note the random direction of the randomly accelerating vectors in both cases.



















In a further case study, another image below shows the difference between the purported and the actual location of our voting place. The green arrow on the left shows the official address of the location, while the red circle on the right shows the actual physical location. The difference between them can take as much as two hours to navigate (Our observant readers may have noticed the large body of water between the two).


On the plus side, Jingle Bells was written in Medford, MA (possibly).

It's a Sick, Sad World

reference: Daria. For those of you who are curious what type of readers visit our blog, I thought I'd list a few keyword searches that readers are using to find us on the internet. They range from
Completely Innocuous

• boston steamer blog
• fiona four-legged friends
• how to get red sox tickets
  

To Social Entertainment & Tipple

• salty dog tavern
• beer growler koozies
• german boston beer
• harpoon brewery tasting

To Questionable

• boston steamer pics
• boston steamer pictures
• boston steamer wikipedia
• frottage fun
• jeffy steamer
• define boston steamer
  
• what's a boston steamer
  

To Outright Disgusting

• bukake (sic)
  
• pictures of the boston steamer
• boston steamer sex pics

If you don't know what some of these things mean, seriously, do not google them to find out. You are really better off not knowing.

Anything Else

Check out my new motherboard! Some people would call it a server-class motherboard because it supports 8 GBs of RAM, 12 SATA Hard Drives, 4 PCI-expressx16 slots, and two dual-core, 64-bit, AMD 3.0 GHZ chips. However, at $319.00 I think it was a steal. I only bought one processor for now, but will purchase the second soon enough. I will let you all know how it goes with setup and install.

BTW, I heard there was a football game tonight. I hope it went well. That sounds nice.

I Saw the Trophys!

I experienced a huge Masshole milestone last night -- I got to meet a few of the World Champion Red Sox players, Alex Cora and Javier Lopez (who though born in Puerto Rico, went to Robinson HS and UVa). Plus, I got an autograph from the team's manager, Terry Francona.
I was at the Hyde Park Lions Club Sportsmen of the Year Banquet; Cora and Lopez were recipients and Francona was there as an added bonus.
Oddly, I had the longest athlete-chat with Todd Collins, the Boston-area boy who started for the Washington Redskins toward the end of the season and managed to help get them into the playoffs. You know I don't care about the Redskins; this info is for Kevin.
The most exciting news of the night was when they announced that the 2 (!) World Series trophys were in the building and that we could have our pictures taken with them. I waited my turn and didn't knock over any kids, but I was so giddy that my hands were shaking. My co-worker Rich, who got the tickets, took my picture for posterity. Now I can mark one more thing off my "To Do List for Becoming An Insufferable Masshole." Next up: Superbowl XLII.

3:00am, the technology hour

It's time again, to cut some late night code, but before I do, let's talk technology. Some of you may have heard of the mythTV project; For those of you who haven't, it's like a DVR, only better. It is a free and open-source software project which turns the necessary computer hardware into a home theater personal computer. Author Isaac Richards explains his motivation:

"I got tired of the rather low quality cable box that AT&T Broadband provides with their digital cable service. It's slow to change channels, ridden with ads, and the program guide is a joke. So, I figured it'd be fun to try and build a replacement. Yes, I could have just bought a TiVo, but I wanted to have more than just a PVR — I want a web browser built in, a mail client, maybe some games. Basically, I want the mythical convergence box that's been talked about for a few years now."



Some features include

• automatic commercial detection/skipping,
• very simple interface with nice search option,
• pause/ff/rewind "live" tv,
• ability to burn recorded programs to DVD and more

Also available are several additional modules including live doppler forecasts, a Nintendo console, and more.

All you need to do is install one of the supported tv tuner cards into your computer, screw your standard cable cord into the computer, and boot up from a KnoppMyth CD-ROM (alternatively you could install MythBuntu or MythDora operating systems). Sound too complicated? Then by a completely MythTV ready, pre-installed system from one of the Commercial MythTV vendors for as low as £215.97.


Combine your MythTV with a Gyration wireless gyroscopic remote and keyboard for a power play. This programmable, in-air cursor control uses gyroscopic motion-sensing technology for up to 100 ft. away with no line-of-sight limitation when controlling your remote PC. Works on Windows and Linux with no setup.



Free, better, fully integrated DVD/PVR/computer systems are not a myth... I've seen them.

Closeted Hockey Fan Coming Out

OK, so maybe I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm a "fan," actually, but ever since we saw the Bruins play the Capitals, I have developed a curiosity of sorts for the game of Hockey as well as the Boston Bruins.

In last night's against the Nashville Predators, which we watched on our fancy big TV, at least three Bruins got in a fight, including the goalie! I mean, how often do you see the goalie throw down?!

I was also amazed to see one guy's hockey stick break in mid-play. I asked one expert, Biff, what happens in this case: "What do you mean what happens? Nothing happens, they keep playing. Maybe that guy should get a better stick if he wants to play hockey."

My response: "Now that's a game!" I mean, the rules still make about as much sense as the rules of football (only three blitzes an inning?!, j/k, inside joke, but I bet you can imagine me saying it sincerely) but if I had to pick a game where arbitrary rules are established and the pieces put into play according to said rules for an arbitrary period of time, then I guess I'd choose hockey. Come to think of it, that's not much different than life.

p.s. This blog is not about baseball. (Or hockey)

Praying to the Frog Gods

A Night of Scintillating Conversation

Words were exchanged, tempers flared, jigs WERE danced....

When The Rod comes to town

Red Sox Tickets Arrived

You may or may not remember BKDM's rant about waiting all day to order Red Sox tickets, and how crazy all Red Sox fans are, but the fruits of our labor arrived today! Two pairs of tickets to April baseball games here in Boston, at Fenway Park, self-proclaimed "America's Most Beloved Ballpark."
I am giddy and did a dance when I opened the envelope. I've never seen a game at Fenway and I just pray I don't get all crazy and start crying or something.

Harpoon Brewery Tasting

If you've never had a harpoon beer, then you are missing out on one of the finest beers in America. Though the company could be much bigger, they only have one brewery in Boston and two in Vermont. They brew a limited amount each year, and are committed to a few core, quality products.
We visited their Boston brewery for the noon-o'clock tasting.







We left with a growler each (64 oz. container, which they will refill with fresh, amazing draft beer anytime for cheap!), one filled with their Winter Warmer product, which is a delicious beer mixed with nutmeg and cinnamon, and one filled with their Munich dark, a delicious dark German-style beer.

Here, a certain someone can be seen sporting not only the growler, but also the stylish growler koozie to keep your brew kool, and your hands free. This, along with the shamrock Boston sweatshirt, completes the Masshole look perfectly.

Happy Birthday, Hooker!

And by that I mean yesiamahooker, my little brother and one of my best friends. It's his birthday today and it is also Miss Dolly Parton's birthday, which is interesting, but I'm not sure what it even means.
Note: According to reference.com, here are the notable births today:

1736 - James Watt, Scottish inventor of the steam engine.
1807 - Robert E. Lee, American commander-in-chief of the Confederate armies.
1809 - Edgar Allan Poe, American poet, author.
1839 - Paul Cézanne, French painter.
1908 - Ish Kabibble (Merwyn Bogue), American comic singer.
1930 - Tippi Hedren, an American film actress.
1943 - Janis Joplin, American blues and pop singer.
1946 - Dolly Parton, American songwriter, singer.
1955 - Paul Rodriguez, Hispanic-American comedian.
1971 - yesiamahooker, Siobhan's brother.
1972 - Drea de Matteo, American actress.
1980 - Jenson Button, English Formula One driver.

Lil Brother Hooker and I have been pals ever since we were small fries, even though, if given half a chance, he will regale you with horror stories of the atrocities I visited upon him in our collective youth.
Next time you see him, ask him about his first broken nose. It involves me, a station wagon and The Collected Works of Mark Twain in hardback.
This is on Thanksgiving night. We may have been drinking. You be the judge.

It's True that I am Vexed by the Snow

But it surely is pretty as long as I don't have to be out in it. This is the view from my office.

p.s. by BKDM - El Dub needs the French Toast alert

El Dub No Like the Snow

El Dub does not like-a the snow. It confuses and bewilders her...





Especially when it covers big things like cars...








Why is she in the middle of the road? And what is that gesture she makes toward the camera?

Airline bumper stickers follow-up

I started to get suspicious when no airline bumper stickers showed up, so I decided to email the company. Here is their response:

James-
Thank you for your email. We actually emailed you on 12/16 [editor note by bkdm: my records indicate no such email] to let you know that our policy is that we will not force our employees to print materials they find offensive. We don't print the 'F' word, but we will print 'F**k'. Let us know if you want us to print modified designs. Your credit card has not been charged.

Thanks,
Mick/Graphicsland

I opted to go ahead and order the friendlier versions. I think they still get my message across.

The Votes Are In

Well, the votes are in, and the tally indicates that most people believe, in the contest of "Is Kevin drunker than a monkey?", that Kevin and the monkey are indistinguishable.

If you don't know where or whence the reference for this comparison originates, then I'll refer you to the modern drunkard magazine, described by wikipedia as "a sporadically released glossy color periodical ...based in Denver, Colorado...".

The pertinent article, entitled "The Zen of Drinking Alone", ejaculates the following paragraph of wisdom:

"Whiskey is the key that sets the monkey free, goes the old saw, and that monkey is your Id, your subconscious mind, the inner you. Instead of letting that monkey out in public, where he tends to go berserk (or so they tell you the next morning), set him loose in a calm room. A quiet place bare of predators and prey. Get to know him. You might be surprised. You might even start liking the little bastard."

One More Pic from Kevin's Visit

Because I can't resist, here is my beloved just about to slaughter this lobstah at the No Name Restaurant on the Pier. We had the best waiter ever and tons of delicious seafood, all overseen by a really aggressive and seemingly-hungry gull. I sure am glad there was a pane of glass between us.
All of you should know that if you come to visit, we will be going back for this festival of once-swimming treats.

Tour of Downtown Denver

My friend Jody has been doing a lot of these lately, but this one I especially liked. It reminds me of that town snuggled at the base of the Rockies.

funny blog

check out http://tackychristmasyards.com/ for a cheap laugh.

pizza

This is your friend young Kevin reporting from the Barkley-Wood residence at nearly midnight. Things have gotten a little out of hand here.

We ordered pizza from Pizzeria Regina's (a most amazing pizzeria) and then BKDM and I walked over there (jumping a fence to get there, and back, bad idea jeans) to pick up it. Inevitably, we ended up at their bar and shots of SoCo and Lime and other such things ensued.


:::editor's note to readers: Jim just saved you three paragraphs of reading superfluous text. Sorry Kevin:::

make sure you see this link to the Washington Post about top theater of 2007 (spoiler: Kevin's play is no. 3)

Final nip of the evening

Kevin is sad because the redskins lost. Laura is happy to comfort her friend. Jim has mixed emotions about the carbomb rules in boston.

Salty dog bar and grille

9.04pm and we are at fanueil hall having oysters, surge-powered guinness, and a salty dog at the salty dog.

Is It You?

This was my fortune at lunch with young kevin and laura. Is it you?

Drunk as a monkey? You decide

Kevin and I did manage to hit a number of great hotspots including, in this order,
the Hub Pub (click here to see "Friday night in Boston" post),
Jillian's,
a really cool piano bar out by fenway,
the Pour House (editor's note: there's a Pour House in every major city),
Whiskey River,
Tam's (never order shots of SoCo-lime here),
Karaoke in the theater district,
and finally the Rattlesnake where we went with TheDistrict (click here to see "What-a-fun-time-but-I-might-be-dead, or Jay's visit, day 2" post).
Also, if any of you were wondering, there is no such thing as ranch dressing bukake. It does not exist.

On the town with kevin

THAT'S A CORONA?!

Little Jeffy tour of Boston

Also, if you've ever seen family circus, here is a "little Jeffy" version of Kevin's tour through Boston on Friday while the adults were at work. Done properly, it should be peppered with such quips as:

"The aquarium is too expensive"

"I saw a really fat squirrel here"

etc.

If you don't know Kevin, he's an actor, and if you saw Kevin in that Irish show he performed, "Scenes From the Big Picture" showing a teeming portrait of Belfast life then you are lucky, because you saw the Washington Posts 3rd best of 2007 Theater performance.

Brrr!

This is the temp outside.
Feels like -10.
This sucks.

Hooray Weekend and Hooray Beer!

The weekend starts early tomorrow and the adventures will include one young Kevin, who will be here visiting. We'll start the festivities with a hockey game tomorrow night and the first of what will be many, many beers. I'll keep you posted -- I can do that now that I got a new cell phone with a QWERTY keyboard. Here she is in all her glory.

And she better be pretty effing glorious, considering the time we spent at Best Buy yesterday. They should have put us on the payroll; they pay time and a half on holidays apparently.

How Our Christmas Went

Sorry it's been so long since the last update -- I was sick as a dog this past weekend and Jim took mighty good care of me.
Here is the picture essay from our schmancy trip to Boston for Christmas.
Jim looks like a serious bouncer in this picture, outside the Parker House where we stayed on Christmas Eve.


You'd think I'd never seen room service, as excited as I am here. Most everywhere in Boston was closed on Christmas Eve, hence the room service. It was delicious, by the by.






Presents! I love presents!!!!





Here I am in the Public Gardens, with the statue from Make Way For Ducklings, a great book that takes place in Boston. Note mama duck and all her babies on their way through the park. There was a line to have my picture taken with the statue, if you can imagine. And no, I didn't knock any kids out of the way to get in front of said line. I wasn't the only adult there either.

After this, we went to late lunch/early dinner at Beacon Hill Bistro, where I had amazing fish and seafood and Jim had lamb that he raved about. After one last drink at the Parker House, it was into a cab and back to our real lives in Medford. Such fantasies aren't meant to last and even Cinderella had to face reality at midnight.